


my only sunshine

by KissedByNightshade



Category: Bleach
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, M/M, What Have I Done
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-09
Updated: 2013-09-09
Packaged: 2017-12-26 03:11:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 671
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/960908
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KissedByNightshade/pseuds/KissedByNightshade
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>For someone so filled with despair, Kira is so bright, so bright.</p>
            </blockquote>





	my only sunshine

**Author's Note:**

> I tried writing alive!Kira. It turned out about as happy as I expected it would. (That is to say, not happy at all. God dammit.)

 

_you are my sunshine, my only sunshine_

_you make me happy when skies are grey_

* * *

 

They aren't used to the quiet times, the times when they can sit on a hillside and watch the sun rise and fall, rise and fall. Gone are the days of peace, when their biggest fears are Hollows and the Head Captain. Nine days until the end of the world.

Hisagi reaches out to grasp Kira's hand, before he remembers that Kira no longer has a hand on that side.

He pretends to stretch instead.

Kira is staring at clouds, watching the way they overlap and swim across and through and over each other. Kira likes clouds, these days. He's always watching the sky. Hisagi smiles; better the sky than the ground.

Kira makes Hisagi forget. Forget that he doesn't have bankai yet, and if the world is going to end in nine days, he probably never will. Forget that he's not the lieutenant his Captain wants him to be. Forget that he's no good as a writer, or a musician, or a cook. Kira makes him forget, because inadequacy is something Izuru Kira considers irrelevant, irreverent, irrational. Kira says inadequacy doesn't exist. Kira says that everyone is perfect in their own way (except for him; he hates himself too much for that).

Hisagi disagrees. No one is perfect. No one, except for Kira.

Hisagi ducks his head but not quick enough, because Kira sees him staring and turns toward him. A question in his eyes, in the shrug of his neck: 'do you need something from me?' and no longer 'did I do something wrong?' Kira has grown. Kira is better now. Kira no longer fears those who will protect him, and he no longer glances behind him in the night. Hisagi answers with a smile and an arm over a shoulder.

Kira isn't watching the clouds anymore. He stares at the horizon, level, watching where the walls intersect with the sky. Hisagi sees the pillar to one side, the pillar where Hisagi lost him and found him again. There had been so much blood, so many bodies, and Kira's reiatsu had been so faint, ebbing like water spilled on sand.

Hisagi felt this and still he pulled Kira out. Still he held his own hand into Kira's side and dragged the nearest Squad Four member over and watched and watched until Kira's breathing no longer came with small choked sprays of blood. Still he held onto the remaining hand. Still he cried, even though crying was something that Shuuhei Hisagi did not do, because it was okay to cry for Kira.

It's hard to breathe, hard to think with his throat all choked up like this. Kira notices. Kira turns his head, his soft hair, into Hisagi's neck. "It's okay," he murmurs, and the silence isn't broken, because Kira's words are wind and leaves and buzzing insects. "It'll be alright."

He pushes Hisagi gently into the grass, then pulls his head onto his own chest. There, the heartbeat. There, the gentle rise and fall of a diaphragm. There, the push and pull of reiatsu. Kira is nature; Kira is like the sea, rocking Hisagi to sleep. Kira is safety and comfort and everything bright.

Without Kira, there is nothing. Without Kira, there is only darkness and death.

They aren't used to the quiet times, the times when they can sit on a hillside and watch the stars fly and fall. There is always war, now. The world ends in nine days. Hisagi asks and receives permission to kiss the place where Kira once had an arm. He doesn't care if the world ends tonight or tomorrow or in a millennia. If there is no Kira, it might as well be over for him as well.

Kira tastes like dandelions against his lips. Hisagi smiles, despite himself. For someone so filled with despair, Kira is so bright, so bright...

 

* * *

 

_you'll never know, dear, how much I love you_

_so please don't take my sunshine away._


End file.
